This was my life yesterday afternoon.
Me: Jakob, I have a little present for you. Close your eyes and hold out your hands.
Jakob: It's a book isn't it. I HATE books. Books SUCK. I don't want it, I want to give it away. Give it to Satchel. NOW YOU HAVE TO BUY ME ANOTHER PRESENT! THIS IS THE WORST DAY EVER! I DIDN'T GET ANYTHING! WHY DID YOU GET ME A BOOK? BOOKS SUCK!
Me: Do they suck ASS? (I'm sorry, sometimes I just can't help myself.)
Jakob: YES THEY SUCK ASS! WHY DID YOU GET ME THIS?
Me: I thought you would like the book. And books don't suck, we can read this one before bed.
Jakob: NO, I HATE IT! I NEVER WANT TO READ IT.
Then I saw a friend of mine in my neighbour's backyard and decided to go out and say hello before allowing myself to be pushed over the edge by my little challenge. While outside Jakob continued to yell and slam and stomp, making sure the door was open so that I would always be fully aware of his discontent.
Kim and Lori asked what was wrong.
I had to admit to them that I did the unthinkable - I bought him a present. I bought him a book.
Thankfully the other book that I bought was The Difficult Child by Stanley Turecki and already I feel better because the first child he described was Jakob to a T! And attributes of the second, third and fourth child as well.
I am completely depending on this man for my sanity survival...well on him and the LCBO.