Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Oh dear, the pictures are starting to filter in.

Monday, March 29, 2010

More important than regaling you with stories of my boys' shortcomings in 80s appreciation, I must write that today would have been my Dad's 85 birthday and that unfortunately he barely lived to see 55.

We all miss him.

An example of the 80s posters that have scarred my poor children for life.
"Makes me want to vomit" indeed!

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Final preparations are being made for my big party tonight and there will be incriminating pictures posted over the next few days without a doubt!

But to whet your appetite - I have created 5 small posters which include 80s shots of a few people in the neighbourhood, and of course Paul and myself, with a bunch of the more visually interesting bands from that era - can't make a poster without including the hair from Flock of Seagulls!

The kids are both fascinated and horrified by this.

Changing brain teenager: That's you Mom? OMG that's totally embarrassing! I can't believe you looked like that! What? My snappy fashion sense? I look awesome!

8 year old: Mom, what did you do to your hair?! And your eyes - you look Egyptian! And then he said: I THINK I'M GOING TO VOMIT.

Yes, he said vomit.

But I understand - they are too young to truly appreciate the wondrous-ness of the 80s with all the styles of music and the clothing and the hair and make-up. I will forgive the nausea.

Friday, March 26, 2010

I love how this app for my BRAND NEW iPHONE makes everything look fantastic - even me! Even me with Ember the Snake and the necklace that I broke 5 minutes after this photo was taken. And might I add without a heavy amount of photoshop which is going to provide me with the opportunity to do many more valuable things with my time like...paint! And spend quality time with my children!

I also finished both my courses last week and because there is nothing like an over-achieving mature student who finds a kindred spirit in Monica from Friends, I managed to maintain my A average while greatly intimidating the under 25 demographic.

Now I can breath. And though I have vowed to take a break from courses at least until September, am already leafing through the course catalogue taking in ideas. For example, a wine specialist course which just screams me. I mean I like wine...I would say I even love wine. The smell, the anticipation of the first taste, taking that first sip and mulling over in your mind all of its characteristics - OMG, this course would be perfect! And what if I could get a job as a wine specialist! This would at least guarantee me the best table in the finest of restaurants because I'm pretty sure the hostess would be in awe of my credentials - and the $20 in my hand.

But first I must go to bed and sleep and between dreams remind myself of all the stories I need to share with you.

I'm throwing my massive spring party tomorrow night (80s music, Andy Warhol factory decor and French Martinis - three things that really don't go together but combined make for one smashing party!) and it is imperative I get my beauty sleep because unfortunately the app doesn't help me in real life and I can't exactly photoshop myself for the party - oh if only I could...

Friday, March 19, 2010

Day 5 and I have officially made it through March break without even the hint of a nervous breakdown!

And I would like to boast that not once did I suggest to Paul that we sell the children to pay for the rebuilding of the garage or offer to let them move in with their New Brunswick grandparents so that they can explore their inner country child as suggested by a certain mother-in-law...and then have that offer rescinded when she saw how excited I became at the prospect of a small break from parenthood.

Warning, a digression follows:

What would it be like to not have children in the house for longer than a school day? Paul and I could spend adult time together without interruption! I wouldn't have to provide a reasonably proper dinner by 6:30pm only to have it rejected because it's considered disgusting. I could drink hot coffee and read the newspaper on Saturday morning. Go see a film on a whim without dropping $40 for babysitting and having one or two calls buzz through during a pivotal scene. And dare I write it this? I truly don't want to offend anyone's sensibility by creating even the slightest of visual and if I do, I am so sorry: not needing pajamas at night! Because there would only be Paul, myself and old Arthur the cat in our bed!

Well I guess I won't know now that the mother-in-law who offered up that dream has taken it back, stomped on it, chewed it up and spit it out all over the floor like Jesse James' marital vows.

Digression over, back to March break: I can only end this post by saying that Jakob said to me today "Mom, you're the best!" and my heart was full.

But then Satchel returned home from his 3 days away skiing and I just overheard Jakob say "Satchel, YOU'RE the best." Next he'll be saying Ember the snake is the best and then where do I stand?

I'm thinking steamed green vegetables for breakfast.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

My profile picture adequately reflects how I feel 4 days into March Break and after 2 days visiting my mother.

The high moment of the last few days would have to be Jakob pulling off his sock to show me the hole in his foot where we finally managed to destroy his plantar wart and create a space large enough to park a car.

Part of me feels that it would benefit you greatly, and by you I mean all my darling virtual internet friends, if I posted a picture but then I would have to put down my glass of wine and pull out my camera. And then I would have to play with the picture in photoshop to elevate said picture of the hole in Jakob's foot to pretty much a work of art and then how would I pour another glass of wine? And that would be wrong, so wrong. Because we are four days into March Break and I did just spend two days with my mother. And I know you would not want that to happen...so I won't.

Internet people, I love you, thank you for putting my emotional health ahead of your desire to see my son's disfigurement.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

This is just a musing as I count down the minutes until neighbourhood weekend cocktail hour - and of course I know it's only Thursday, but that's the kind of optimistic person I am! My weekend starts Thursday at 5pm with the unfortunate distraction of a number of work hours on Friday to contend with, but essentially...WEEKEND!

Sorry, I became distracted, the musing is that one of the things I enjoy doing, more a love/hate relationship really, is pouring through Craigslist looking for that perfect chair, coffee table, console table, etc., to claim for my own. But instead I find really crazy stuff that crosses the line into hideousness and the sellers want a fantastic amount of money for it, and it's always classified as "mid century modern" or "retro".

Sure, the stuff is old but since when did old and ugly constitute mid century modern?

I have always played with the idea of creating a category called Crazy Craigslist finds as a companion to my occasional postings of fabulous wine deals. I posted a really hideous couch with 2 chairs for the great price of $800, but then felt bad. Not for the people selling them but for you the reader. They were truly ugly, and modern did factor into the description...but they weren't funny. I need to find something that makes you groan and then laugh out loud (LOL in teenage vernacular). So I will continue the search and then post an example - to really whet your appetite!

Is this potentially something you would enjoy?

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

I have finally surfaced after having been buried under the weight of assignments and exams and family...specifically the weight of my boys. A boy with frontal lobes that will not be firing for another 10 years, if we're lucky, and a boy who's hair is so curly that it seems to interfere with reasoning and hearing and understanding and also encourages a general dislike of good hygiene. Oh wait, non-firing frontal lobes also discourage cleanliness as I'm finding out.

I just had a thought that the writing geniuses behind a dummies guide to virtually everything under the sun would do well to write a book on managing a household of boys while staying sane and at the same time perfecting the recipe for the french martini.

Outside of drinking cocktails, I managed to escape the role of motherhood for one evening and went to an art show where I purchased a small painting by the Canadian artist Beverely Hawksley (http://www.beverleyhawksley.com) and also went to a fabulous bar on Queen St.W/Toronto called BarChef (http://www.barcheftoronto.com/) where I developed an addiction for their Vanilla Lite cocktail. Thank you Eve for expanding my little world!

But then it was back to reality and the pain of reading chapters on typography. Don't get me wrong - I love type! I would probably qualify as a type geek. But oh my god, the chapters are drier than my mother's blackened hamburger balls (and not blackened because of some fabulous Cajun seasoning, blackened because she would throw round balls of meat into a frying pan and cook them on high until they were black because at least that way she knew they would be cooked to some degree inside) in the 1970s when she went through her I hate cooking and frankly all of you phase. Actually it was just me that fell under that category. But that's a whole other thousand or so posts to devote to the special mother/daughter relationship we have and I'm kind of sorry I touched on it and peeked your curiosity. And I completely understand why my brother has been a vegetarian most of his life.

So where am I going with this post? I think to sum up: don't shape your hamburger patties to resemble golf balls and fry them up on high even if you are Tiger Woods. Your child will openly blog about it 30 years later.