Friday, March 28, 2008

I'm home from work and it's Friday! Being a good mother I have introduced Jakob to something so FANTASTIC that I have once again secured my position as the most awesome mother ever.

I have introduced him to Easter chocolate and peanut butter. He has gone from having had the worst day ever (yet again) to being on top of the world and all it took was plunking him down at the island and handing him a knife, his chocolate and an opened jar of peanut butter.

But he is a bit concerned because he has found blood in his mouth so I am attaching 2 pictures of him holding out his tissue...so see if you can find the blood, I DARE YOU.



I'm also posting a shot of my fabulous new table to fit between the knock-off barcelonas - the wooden base was an incredible find from Elte and because it was missing it's original marble top had been reduced in price by 90%. Instead of marble or stone which I was initially going to do I opted to have a mirror cut which is a little optimistic of me living with 2+ boys but I loved the contrast in materials.

See how beautiful!


We are STILL waiting for our contractor to call so we can get the deficiencies taken care of - but it's only been a couple of weeks so I will force myself to be patient.
Some old man on the subway tried to pick me up yesterday afternoon. He said I was beautiful and was there any chance we could see each other again? Ummm, no.

He asked if I was really busy. I said "yes, very very busy" as I continued working on my sudoku.

All the while I'm thinking that maybe I would be a little more flattered if you looked like, oh I don't know, you had A JOB and even more importantly BATHED occasionally.

I was also told that I looked 32 by a woman in the office who is 32 so she would be the expert and I completely believe anything and everything she tells me going forward and if she ever needs a coffee...well I'm her bitch.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008


The things you find in the kitchen.

It's finally quiet in the house, both kids are asleep and Paul is watching television. I'm about to pass out myself from exhaustion. Arthur has taken to exerting his alpha male dominance (I'm laughing as I type this - the old queen that he is) over Hamish on a nightly basis - unfortunately this is always between 3 and 5am and always outside my bedroom door which forces me to get up out of my bed and throw something at him.

Satchel had a panic attack two nights ago and ended up sleeping with us - a panic attack or perhaps he just wanted to sleep with us but knew that if he asked, he would be met with a resounding NOOOOOO. Fortunately he's a much calmer sleeper than Jakob, unfortunately he kind of smells bad (a pre-teen stink caused by a general lack of interest in showering). It's hard to comfort even when you know they just want to be held but you're afraid you're going to pass out from whatever is emanating from that head of hair. And was that movement?

I'm done...and not just my drink either! It's time for bed.

Here's the old tart now - just waiting to get back at us tonight at oh say, 3:43 am. You can see it in his eyes, that and the demand for a lot more wet food waiting for him after this bit of humiliation.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Saturday, March 22, 2008

I am such a slacker - how many days has it been since I last updated this blog? I'm surprised anyone checks in any more to find out how much I've had to drink or what Jakob's been up to.

Hmmm, now I'm getting the paranoid feeling that there is nobody out there, that I'm just writing to a big empty room.

Helllooooo! Anybody out there?

Oh well, this always has been a little on the self indulgence side.

So yes, I have a drink beside me BUT I have also have the kids painting blown out Easter eggs.

And I'm trying to fit in guitar practice, the taxes that are looming over my head, organizing the Easter surprises and egg hunt for tomorrow...and I can't find my baskets or special Easter bags ANYWHERE so I'm about to lose my mind.

I'd better post this or I will get completely caught up on the preparation and you will NEVER hear from me again - because I will have been institutionalized.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

March Break: 1st day off work to spend quality time with the children.

I woke to the sounds of Jakob screaming, frustrated by his DS. I made a promise to myself that this would not push me over the edge. Instead I came downstairs smiling, asked them how they slept and made breakfast. Jakob ate only half saying he was full. He really wanted to get back to his DS. Satchel is boycotting Jakob. Ignoring any and all requests for help with the DS.

Our house smells like poo. Where is it coming from? I wonder. I throw out all the garbage, the food waste, clean the cat litter and Lysol everything. Next step will be febreezing the furniture. Thank god for chemical products.

I'm trying to get the kids out the door to go to Wizard World. I think my period is going to start. Satchel refuses to get dressed.

I'm going to drink more coffee. Is it too early to throw Bailey's into it?

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

It's March break and I'm taking Thursday and Friday off work to spend with the boys. I feel that I have successfully created enough bitterness and resentment in the children by sending them to daycamp for 3 days, that we can now fully enjoy Thursday and Friday.

But I will hold returning them to camp on Friday over their cute little heads if they do not do an exceptional job cleaning the bathrooms, folding the laundry and emptying the cat litter box.

Because, truly, what says March break combined with parental love more than that?

Monday, March 10, 2008

Sunday, March 09, 2008

The calm before the storm that was Paul's party.


The reindeer had a hangover. He's still recovering.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

I look forward to the end of this week. These past 10 days have been...insane. I was sick with a serious head cold and then flu bug all while trying to plan Paul's birthday blow-out weekend.

But...it was a success! I had told Paul I was inviting the usual suspects from the neighbourhood because he would have been suspicious if I had said:

"Nope, not doing a thing. Just make sure you're home by 8pm YOU GOT IT?" He can read me like an open book.

So he was thrilled Saturday night with various people showing up that he never have expected. Especially Kathy and Geoff - 2 of our favourite people from just outside of London (it was very difficult to actually let them go home on Sunday).

In total, we had at least 25 people...all crammed in my kitchen. I had tried luring them into other rooms by spreading food around, but with no luck. They knew where the booze was.

Sunday I had Paul's family over for dinner. By then I was feeling wretched again. And this was with me abstaining from drinking all weekend - well 2 glasses of wine Saturday night which really doesn't count if you can hold the entire amount you drink in both hands at the same time.

Today is the last of the madness - this morning was the "get up early and sit by the computer with phone in hand in hopes to enroll the kids into summer camp programs and swim lessons run by the city" day. I was moderately successful but now have to try to switch sessions or cancel sessions if they will let me. And tonight is my 5th guitar lesso for which I must have clocked in probably...oh let's say...0 MINUTES OF PRACTICE this past week between cold/flu and the arranging of Paul's party.

Plus I started my Illustrator class last night so am now officially a student.

I'm also having some serious issues with Jakob - which could be compounded by Paul's work schedule (in that he's always at work). Not sure what direction to take - maybe family counselling? Poor little guy, he's tricky.