Thursday, April 30, 2009

I have determined my next personal project - outside of finding the perfect console table to hold my tv that will go with my fabulous new carpet.

I am going to fix the front of my house so that it doesn't look like a crack den.

Here is how that decision came about:

I was reading tweets and followed a link to Breakfast Television's blog and noticed a BT/Home Depot contest to fix the front of your house, improve curb appeal. Just send a note why your house deserves the make-over and a picture.

This is what I wrote (well first draft anyway, minor tweeks made to the original):

The front of our house is so hideous that adults walking by weep and children run in fear...and animals defecate because the lack of grass gives only the impression of our front yard being one very large litter box. The green and cream paint (though I suppose considered grand in the 80s when it was last done) has peeled and hangs in strips, the astroturf carpeting does nothing to hide the disintegrating floorboards, and the lone hanging lightbulb emphasizes the despair that is our family home. Flowers no longer bloom, birds do not sing, and the garbage bins stand as sentinels at the front allowing in only skunks who burrow under the porch and then spray.

I am amazed that the neighbours haven't risen up against us, for we are the most pitiful house on the street and desperate for a curb appeal makeover.

And here is the picture:

I seriously did not realize just how bad the front is until I went outside to deliberately take a picture of the old horror. I think after so many years of living here I would deliberately stare down at the sidewalk and hold my breath to protect myself from the stench of catspray and rush quickly into the house. Sidestepping the holes in the porch boards.

Now to start sourcing house numbers, light fixtures and paint colours, and also plants and pots for the front.

And to build up my courage and remove the astroturf (after taking a couple gravol) and see exactly what is living under my porch.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!


Anonymous said...

Well you could always phone your favourite contractor and ask him if he is up to doing the job.
(Pissing myself laughing as I type this.)

Meg said...

I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

Anonymous said...

Now you know it is a good idea when bodily fluids start to fly.