My life is so surreal right now.

I had a voice message at my office from my surgeon's assistant. In a sing song kind of voice, she apologized for missing my last call and then told me that there has been a cancellation next week (the 12th) if I would like it for my mastectomy. Or the next available appointment is on the 26th. The woman who was initially booked next week needs to have chemo before her surgery.

I just want to scream "this isn't a hair appointment! So no thank you, I don't want to have my breast cut off next week. I don't want my breast cut off EVER!"

I also received pamphlets today from my plastic surgeon for me to go over before my appointment outlining various forms of implants and types of reconstruction.

I also had a message from John the contractor to hurry up and choose paint colours because he would like the painters to start on Thursday.

Breast implants and paint colours. These are the choices I need to make quickly.

I think I need a drink. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.