Quick - GO HOME AND CHANGE!



And then I'll meet you on the patio.

Good news: Blue the Fish is still alive! I know you have all been wondering with bated breath, but I'm not posting an image as proof so you will have to take my word on it.

In other news: Jakob washed the dishes, and the floor as a secondary bonus, and feels that with all the chores he has done, each dish representing one chore, he deserves TWO allowances. Bless his heart.

Finally I had my yearly MRI last night, this time at Princess Margaret Hospital. I bounce back and forth so much between Mt. Sinai and PMH that I no longer remember where I had my last mammogram or MRI because I have fused the two hospitals together.

But now I know the difference between a PMH MRI and a Mt Sinai MRI and I would have to say experiencing the two, I far prefer Mt Sinai.

Who would have thought there would be a difference, really. Big white tunnel, lots of noise, ear plugs, IV pumping dye through your veins, right?

But Mt Sinai is actually a more pleasant experience on the grand scale of things, and whereas I used to zone out and pretend I was on a beach (a loud beach in the throes of a tsunami - the noise representing the sounds of crashing waves) with a slight breeze blowing over my body, and I was feet first in the tunnel instead of headfirst so not quite as claustrophobic an experience, and the operator would talk to me to give me an idea how long each segment would last so I had an idea of when this beach moment would be over...

This time: head first, no talking, no breeze, and a different kind of futuristic knocking noise so I spent my time thinking "this is really fucking annoying" rather than "when is the cabana boy going to bring me my drink?".

At least it's over for another year and I meet with my oncologist Dr. McDreamy, I mean McCready, next month to discuss the results and my thoughts on having another mastectomy.

Didn't expect that did you! From fish to mastectomy in 8 easy paragraphs. Ha!

Here's to a fantastic long weekend!

It is not my fault. The drama that is my 8 year old can only come from his father's side.

And it is this drama that makes me fantasize about cold frothy drinks on a patio, basking in the sun and warm temperatures where no one under 21 is allowed.

Jakob just said he wishes Holland didn't exist because that would make his homework much easier.

And I have said "stop with the complaining! small children in certain parts of the world are plucked from their homes, forbidden to go to school and are forced to move big rocks around all day!" Jakob of course focused on forbidden to go to school.

To backtrack, Jakob is working on his homework assignment. A few paragraphs to accompany a map he has drawn showing early settlers coming to Canada from Europe. There have been many tears and groans, as if he is constipated and has not seen the toilet in weeks.

The printing of the good copy is now causing him physical pain and he must lie down on the sofa for I'm not sure how long. And perhaps I should put a cartoon on for good measure. Things are looking bleak, he might not survive.

Now he has rolled off the sofa, across the filthy carpet and onto the wood floor. It is his strength and determination that will take him far in life, he will make it back to the kitchen to finish his homework. It's just going to take a while.

My toast on Mother's Day while having dinner at a downtown pub with Paul & the children:

To me, for without me, you would not be here.

Jakob: "And to Daddy."

Me: "No, just to me. You can celebrate his contribution on Father's day."

It is not good to be subtle with children.

Happy Mother's day to all the fantastic moms; for it truly is the hardest yet most wonderful role one could have and I wouldn't trade my life for anything - though to be honest the boys do look at all girl babies as a threat to their security, especially when I'm walking around with a large bag...

But all my love to the mothers that are closest to me, inspire me, and frankly READ MY BLOG!

So a toast to my wonderful girlfriends who are such amazing mothers: Kim, Heidi, Pat, Beth, Sam, Kathy, Jo & Lisa, Amanda, Lauraine, Brenda, Susan, Shirley (my sister who does NOT read my blog, nor does she understand Target), and all those I have not mentioned but adore non the less.

xoxox


Taken after seeing Ironman 2 this afternoon.

There is nothing like an old picture being sent out of the blue (thank you Kim) to really make my day - it's like an early mother's day present!


But how did that turn into this? (Though still covered in chocolate after all these years.)


And it is amazing to me that this large person is even able to be squeezed, changing brain and all, into a small photograph. He deserves at minimum a New York Times Square billboard!


And yet I have barely aged a day in all that time.


I do so love my boys.

This is a little bit unnerving - my bathroom scale seems to be reading on the heavy side and my clothes don't fit quite as comfortably as they did before my birthday weekend bash which turned into roughly 3 weeks of celebrating. Perhaps it's time to retire the poor old scale since it obviously doesn't work anymore and maybe not launder my clothes as often since the washer seems to be doing them in.

There - problem solved!

But how to stop the voice in my head screaming: "MOM, did you gain weight MOM?!"?

I know ... someone kindly left a Regal catalogue at my desk - because obviously my personality screams Regal!

If you have ever had the opportunity to leaf through one, it is amazing to me that a team of professional researchers could actually compile such a collection of wonderment. I liken the contents to viewing a series of tiny shrunken heads - both horrifying and yet strangely compelling.

For example doesn't everyone fantasize about having a resin statue of a french maid holding a roll of toilet paper? And for only $30 it can be yours! Not to worry, she is averting her eyes for she is also quite modest. And we've all struggled with crazy hair in the morning - do we sleep an extra 15 minutes and go to work looking like Medusa or do we shower and not turn the office to stone? Problem solved, mesh hair net, $5.98! And with summer approaching - we are all looking for the next good book to read and I just found a couple on page 42: Why are there NO cats in the BIBLE? ($15), very curious - was there a cat bias in olden times, did Noah forget to load them onto the ark? definitely questions to be answered, or Poems and Reading for Funerals and Memorials ($9.98) both fun and interesting - a good book for the beach no doubt and one that will scream "come sit by me, I'm a girl who's quirky and loves to have fun!".


Already the voice has been silenced.