I'm trying to type this with my forehead pressed against the keyboard.

My little family is falling apart. I started feeling a sore throat last night and today I still have the sore throat but it has been joined by a headache and stomach ache...and I really just want to go to bed and sleep.

Jakob isn't feeling well either - but he's very much like the boy who cried wolf, or I should say the boy who cried I HATE SCHOOL, WHY DO I HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL EVERY DAY! I WANT TO SUE THE PEOPLE WHO INVENTED HOMEWORK! I NEED A DAY OFF!!! and therefore tends not to believed and is shuffled off to school everyday. Except that because I know how retched I feel, I'm pretty positive he's not well too.

But LUCY is at the house cleaning and there are few things I hate more than having other people in my house when I just want to sleep and am paying them to clean but they lead an isolating life and really just want to chat. Plus she's a little racist and inevitably our conversations end with her telling me to make sure my kids go to an all white catholic school.

And I have a massage booked this afternoon. No way am I missing out on an appointment with Thumbs of Steel Shirley.

Anyway, back to my falling apart family. Jakob managed to develop a massive blister on his toe which has now popped and looks hideous. He's absolutely horrified by it and wants it covered with 2 bandages at all times AND bandage tape. So that after 10 minutes he can pry off the bandage to see if it's still as horrific as it was 10 minutes ago. We're going through a lot of bandages right now so I picked up 140 yesterday which should last me until Thursday night. He also has impetigo on his shoulder and arms and that was pretty horrifying too. I always try to downplay whatever the kids are experiencing so they don't freak out, so with Jakob I would say that the rash really isn't so bad. We're going to the doctor to get special cream and it will be healed in no time. You're fine, it's fine...here have some ice cream. Then Satchel will walk by and see the spots and blurt out OH MY GOD, I DIDN'T REALIZE HOW BAD JAKOB WAS! THAT'S DISGUSTING! JESUS! IS HE GOING TO BE OKAY?

Shut up Satchel.

We have the cream, spots are healing, Jakob will be fine.

Satchel is now obsessing about the big scab on Jakob's knee and how he's pretty sure it's gangrene.

Shut up Satchel.

Satchel has molluscum contagiosum which is a viral infection predominately on his chest that looks worse than it is (like really bad acne) but for a 12 year old boy who takes swim at school, it's pretty devastating. We're off to a dermatologist next week but unfortunately it's something that usually just goes away on it's own..after many many months.

Paul was home sick yesterday and spent the day napping and watching movies. He was pretty close to death because found that even though he tried to play some violent game on the xbox 360, he just wasn't up to it and went back to bed.

He's much better today, in fact last night was greatly improved because his ability to game came right back. Whew.