Satchel turns 12 today!

And people should be arriving...just about now. And I'm NOT ready.

I'm also about to leave on one of my favourite weekends of the year - to NY state with Jenifer for many hours of outlet shopping.

Will update later.

So much has been going on, distracting me from writing.

My surgery has been confirmed for next Wednesday. I'm to arrive at 8:30, hang out for an hour before having the wire shoved into my breast while having a mammogram. And then I continue to hang out in the hospital with a wire in my breast until mid-afternoon when I will finally have my lumpectomy.

All I can think is JESUS this is going to hurt. And also calculating how long I will have to go between meals pre and post surgery and that I am not a happy camper on an extended empty stomach - and don't even mention the lack of coffee in my system.

Thankfully this weekend is one of my favourite weekends of the summer - when Jenifer and I hightail it out of Toronto to Wilson NY for a long weekend where we will shop at outlet malls and Target, drink lots of wine, play endless games of UNO, read magazines and watch chick flicks. A terrific way to distract me even though it does mean abandoning Satchel part way through his (12th!!!!) birthday.

This also marks the 2nd anniversary of the start of my life falling apart with breast cancer. It was at Jen's in-law's cottage playing UNO and drinking wine that I started experiencing burning pain in my right breast which led to the check-up with my GP, to the many, many tests with my oncologist/surgeon to the mastectomy and reconstruction. Last year at the cottage I felt like I had come full circle as we drank more wine and played more UNO, I thought I was finished with breast cancer. And now, one year later, it's messing with me again.

I meant to spend my time writing about the fabulousness of the Serengeti Bush Camp experience at the Toronto Zoo but instead am reeling from the news that my cousin Patti has breast cancer and is scheduled for a mastectomy this Friday.

Jesus.

Crazy that this afternoon I was biking home from work, and it was an absolutely beautiful afternoon by the way, and I was thinking to myself it's hard to believe that nearly 2 years ago I was diagnosed only to have my brother call me with the news this evening.

But I'll leave you with one picture while I get my head together of our last morning at the zoo and will update you tomorrow including many stories of Jakob's absolute miserableness, I mean uniqueness.

We are heading off to the Toronto Zoo to sleep with the lions.

http://www.torontozoo.com/CampsPrograms/BushCamp.asp

Very cool, very exciting!

Today my Mom turns 79.

And what kind of daughter would I be if I didn't post a few photos of her.

What can I say about my Mom?

She loves anything with sugar and acts with great deception when around desserts as if she fears that her habit will be discovered and she will be judged. A little like a crack addict.

1954 (with Bob and Susan)

2008

I woke up in such an irritated mood - one that was partly created by my frustration with the guitar last night. I feel like my brain just shuts down when it decides that it's had quite enough thank you very much and completely rejects what I'm trying to force upon it. In this case strumming Needle and the Damage Done rather than plucking the song (which sounds far better plucked ANYWAY and really does feel like an exercise in futility).

I was so irritated trying to figure it out, all while designing a logo for a new client, that I wanted to slam my Simon & Patrick guitar against the wall or my head, whichever was harder.

But I felt like I was given a little present by the gods today - I was going through old photo albums at work and look what I found:


I have NEVER seen this picture before! Taken in 2002, Satchel is 6 and Jakob is 8 months...and look at the size of his head!

I was also amazed that there is not ONE SINGLE line in that forehead of mine and wow, is that really my natural hair colour? I look like a teenage mother.

And you know at that comment Paul is rolling his eyes while thinking "boy I love my family."

I've done it!

Finally I have packaged up all of my cute underwire bras and bundled them off to Goodwill to be enjoyed by some other 34B with fabulous taste and a budget in mind when it concerns her undies.

This was quite a milestone for me, I've been holding onto them for nearly 2 years.

I couldn't bring myself to give all of them away of course, the 2 cute bras purchased in Paris for example just had to stay in my collection.

Jakob and I flew back from Edmonton on Monday and I returned with mixed emotions.

I had a wonderful time seeing Thomas, getting to know Susan and Noah, meeting Maya who was absolutely adorable and inspired feelings of kleptomania...but my mother! God, she was miserable and nasty to Jakob.

But, the trip can't be about my mother. Or at least the blog. My mother will come up over many glasses of wine with friends.

Jakob and I really did have a wonderful time and Edmonton was so much more lovely than I would have expected. Instead of industrial, it was very green with much culture. The differences in the landscapes from Edmonton to Calgary were extraordinary - the saturated yellow of the canola fields reminded me of the fields of sunflowers in the south of France. The layers discerning the ages in Drumheller were fantastic.


As you can see, I did not exaggerate the cuteness.






And the West Edmonton Mall! How do you top that? Especially when you're 6! Jesus, that place is crazy: water parks, pirate ships, fire breathing dragons...



Definitely a trip to make again.

Mom, or Betty as Thomas calls her, feels that I have led Susan down the dark path of alcoholism as we indulge in a glass (bottle) of wine.

My mother at the restaurant I took her (and Maya) to lunch at:

"Ohh, I'm going to get a nanaimo bar." said with her face pressed against the glass, eyeing the tower of desserts.

"Excuse me," said to the server behind the counter "could you tell me which ones are the...is it NANAIMO BAR?"

"That would be these ones ma'am."

"Oh, okay. Well, I'll try one of those then thank you."