Because our house is full of culture, my 8-year old is singing Prom Night Dumpster Baby from Family Guy and has just asked about the wire sticking from the baby's belly.

Being the loving and patient mother that I am, chock full of information, and one who takes great pleasure in shocking her children, I have just explained the workings of the umbilical cord, the placenta, transferring of nutrients from mother to baby while in utero, and what happens to the umbilical cord after the birth which finally results in the perfect belly button that most of us have.

I say most because I'm not part of that special demographic. I used to have a cute little navel that was capable of holding nearly a cup of water but no longer. Now it's just a scarred little frown but because I have not yet had the first glass of wine of the weekend, I will keep that story to myself.

Back to the umbilical cord story:

Jakob's reaction?

That's NASTY!