Look how pretty!




And I'm still alive (and sober) after 5 separate deliveries of cushions.

The Case of the Two Barcelona Chairs or What Will Ultimately Be Responsible For My Premature Death.

On September 7, Paul and I celebrated our anniversary by taking the day off and going to GH JOHNSON'S to buy two white Barcelona chairs for our kitchen.

Happily they took our money and promised a Thursday delivery. Unfortunately on Tuesday they cancelled the Thursday delivery and promised Monday sometime after 1:30 to accommodate my work schedule. Fortunately I had the foresight to leave a note on the front door to see my neighbour if they showed early - and they did, came in the morning and left the 2 chairs. Of the two frames, one was damaged and both sets of cushions were either damaged or didn't fit the frame properly.

After 3 days of calling and leaving messages and never having my calls returned, I finally talked to Glen who promised that by the following Thursday all would be righted. Unfortunately he forgot and my Thursday promise was pushed to the following Tuesday.

The new frames came (one fine, one damaged - but I still had one that was okay so sent both damaged frames back) and new cushions. One set of cushions was perfect, and then after the delivery guys left, I found that I had been left with 2 base cushions instead of a base and a top - so the base cushion wouldn't fit the frame. Paul walked the cushion over to GH Johnson's to exchange it for a proper cushion and came home to find out that we had been given a completely different design which also didn't fit the frame properly.

So he called and FREAKED OUT, SWEARING A BLUE STREAK until they promised to personally deliver a new cushion today, adhering to my schedule. And a lovely man did, but also wanted to take the original base cushion THAT FIT PERFECTLY and replace it with a new one so that I had a brand new set and then he left.

Paul came home and looked at the chair saying the base cushion is not the same size as on the other chair - and it's not. Because David left us with two top cushions, so as a base cushion, it's too short. Of course I didn't notice and now after calling David on his cell phone, having Paul yell and swear which has only increased my anxiety, and then calling GH Johnson's again to be told no one can help me tonight, to wait until tomorrow for David, and then HUNG UP ON...

...I am going to have a nervous breakdown and still do not have my two perfect Barcelona chairs that really will look quite stunning if and when we ever get it right.

I'm exhausted. I had insomnia last night and even the changing of beds didn't help.

My restlessness even forced Hamish and Arthur to desert me.

Jerks.

I finally fell asleep around 3:30 (I think) and then was woken by Jakob 2 hours later because he had wet the bed. And after finishing 2 more loads of laundry, since he soaked every sheet, blanket and the duvet on his bed, I have now just found his soaking wet pajama bottoms hidden behind the laundry basket in his room.

So I'm puttering around the house, armed with a hammer to hang pictures, and cranky. And to push me over the edge, because children have a 6th sense on just how to do that, Jakob is following me where ever I go, talking endlessly in a very loud voice about Pokemon.

This is why parents of young children DRINK. ALOT.

It's 1:21 in the afternoon and I have spent the last 2 hours folding laundry. Paul put together an IKEA bed in a shorter period of time.

If you don't hear from me again it's because one of the 6 foot piles of shirts have fallen over, burying me forever - or until the family gets hungry and searches me out.

Jakob lost a tooth this morning - his first naturally, his 3rd in total. He's still a bit in shock over it - namely, that it didn't hurt when Paul pulled it out. Jakob also flushed a fruit smoothie wrapper down the toilet but has asked me not to tell Paul because Paul would either give him away or saw him in half.

Paul walking Jakob to school today:

"...I just can't see Daddy. If I don't get glasses, I'll have to keep my eyes closed...FOREVER!"

Another weekend spent at soccer fields where Satchel's team did really well winning, I mean slaughtering, or perhaps the correct term is shutting them out on Friday and at both games on Saturday. But sadly, it was not to be on Sunday morning where they lost...because they got COCKY! and not because the other team paid out a bigger bribe to the referees as suggested by Satchel.

To make myself feel better, I took Brenda, William and Aidan to Ikea where we shopped with 5 million other people and I, once again, spent way too much money. I didn't have that moment where the woman runs out of the store shrieking to her husband to GO! GO!!! Instead I sucked in my breath when told the amount and accused the cashier of having made a mistake.

Jakob informed Paul, with a straight face and very deep voice, that he is not obsessed with Pokemon cards, but that he is a collector of Pokemon cards.

Day 3 of strike.

A dilemma - Paul made dinner therefore I am obligated to do the dishes! Or am I?

Maybe I should sit back and have a drink and think about this a little more...I don't want to rush into action unnecessarily. Yes, a civilized beverage.

And Paul is helping Jakob with his homework, which is as painful as it is to watch Jakob play soccer. It's all I can do to not break out laughing - instead I bury my head into the computer, typing away at this blog...as my body shakes uncontrollably.

I feel like I'm a bit behind in my photo postings.

Flowers from my anniversary.



Satchel - the day of his 11th birthday.

We had a fabulous thunder storm last night with quite the light show. We even lost power for a few minutes - just long enough to run around trying to find flashlights, candles and matches before it came back on.

The lights went out during Jakob's time in the bathroom, otherwise known as his personal pooping room. All was dark, all was quiet in the house until we heard "I could use a little light here people!"

Day 2: the food on the floor could feed a small family.

I think it's time I go on strike.

There seems to be in incredible imbalance in the sharing of house responsibilities and it's driving me INSANE!!! And until the people who live here start taking more initiative and responsibility, I'm stepping back.

Let's see how long it lasts - I really don't do well in chaos.

So...Day 1.

I'm going to walk away from the rice, the crushed peas, the dirty dishes, the laundry that needs to be folded, the lunches that need to be made - and instead, I'm going to go read my book.

I just want to say:

THANK GOD JAKOB'S SOCCER SEASON IS OVER!!!!!

The play offs were this weekend and his team kept WINNING. Which meant after each game we would go home and await the next game with Jakob flipping out the entire time. Finally this afternoon, his team lost and he was awarded his trophy and medal and certificate AND THE PROMISE that we would never sign him up again and would buy him ice cream IMMEDIATELY from the ice cream truck.

I can not adequately describe how painful it is to watch Jakob "play" soccer. Or the rage I feel when he loudly mocks the players of the other team while he spends his entire time on field keeping his back turned to the ball. A funny coincidence is that the other sad little player on the field is a boy named Jacob who was born in the same hospital, one day before my little Jakob broke free. The coach just kept rotating the Jakob/Jacobs keeping the rest of the players going. Even the boy with the BROKEN ARM was kept on the field, the preferred player over Jakob/Jacob.

I think his next experience will be cooking - we will build on his love of experimenting in the kitchen.

Because of this interference, not once did I make it downtown for my annual stalking ritual (this year of Brangelina who are in town RIGHT NOW) and also could not make it out to cheer on all the participants in the 60 km breast cancer walk.

I am currently drinking a glass of wine, enjoying the silence that comes with both kids being asleep and thinking creatively about payback.

September 7, 1991

16 crazy years together!

(Yes, I was a child bride; no, we are neither mennonites or mormons.)

We have both taken tomorrow off work to try to remember each other's names...and potentially stalk the celebrities that have invaded our fair city. And by celebrities, I can only mean BRANGELINA!





Photos by Jakob

I was home sick today - I had a migraine. I seldom say "oooh, I have a migraine" when really it's only a headache that a couple of advil will take care of. But yesterday, by the time I left work, when I was pressing my hand to my head trying to manage the pain and realizing I could no longer use my right eye to see - I knew, it was a migraine. And then by 5:30, when I was trapped in Zellers with Satchel crying and Jakob begging for candy, and I could feel my temperature spike, the migraine was confirmed again.

A funny thing happened at Zellers, Satchel was angry and disappointed and very sad that he couldn't find Optimus Prime (retailing for a stupid $70 plus tax at ToysRrippoff and $60 at Walmart and Zellers) and started hiding in the store and refusing to come with us - which had Jakob very upset. I told Jakob that we would go pay for the binder THAT SATCHEL NEEDS and he would very likely meet up with us at the cashier. "And if he doesn't?" says an anxious Jakob. "Well, then he's in BIG trouble." I said, really wanting to go home. "Will he have to sit in the quiet time chair?" says Jakob (known well because he has obviously spent a lot of time in said chair during kindergarten). "Oh yeah, all night long." I said. Jakob was happy with that.

After paying at the cashier and no Satchel showing, I walked to the customer service department to have him paged when lo and behold, there his is...crying (because he thought I left without him) and being escorted by TWO security guards. I think he learned his lesson as I mouthed thank you at the two men. Being the terrible mother that I am, I brought this up as I hugged my sobbing boy.

And then, after getting home, I was sick as a dog, popping gravol and advil like it was the candy Jakob was desperate for. I was asleep by 9:00, slept until 11:00am, stayed away for about an hour, back to sleep until an alarm went off at 2:30 and then forced myself to stay awake to pick up the kids for 3:30.

And tomorrow, I will choose my celebrity of choice to stalk. No headache will get in the way of that!