I'm back from my trip to Niagara Falls/St. Thomas/London with my boys and we had a fabulous time but there is nothing like crawling back into your own king size bed surrounded by purring felines. Though the waterpark, Skywheel, glow in the dark mini-putt, hotel movie (Night at the Museum 2) and dinner on the outdoor patio at the Hard Rock Cafe was all pretty fabulous! And Jakob did enjoy driving Bill's boat...

So today, the last day of my vacation before returning to work tomorrow, we have been hit by a wicked thunderstorm. But because this is standard 2009 summer weather, Paul is outside on the porch sanding the cedar frames he has created while both my boys play their electronic games and I drink coffee while catching up on laundry, dishes, cleaning, blogging...



And wouldn't you know that I have invited friends over for an outdoor bbq and mother nature has ONCE AGAIN crushed my dinner plans and we will be stuck inside, children and all.

The upside is that it is Feed Ember a Rat-sicle day so I can at least provide some entertainment for the kids.

5 weeks of garbage...GONE!
I am deliriously happy!

And my guitar instructor was suspiciously sweet to me this evening, has he suspected his days are numbered?

BEFORE:


AFTER:


If only they took the hideous van too.

Oh I love the teen years - the angst, the sorrow, the irrationality, the temper. And to think that when Satchel finally leaves these years of emotional and mental instability behind, Jakob will throw himself in with wild abandon.

No wonder my mother hid in her room eating chocolate for roughly 20 years.

Sometimes it is so not fun being a girl. Specifically a girl having an ultrasound wand stuck up the ying yang during day 2 of her menstrual cycle. And I completely understand all of you who just now had a bit of their dinner forced back up into their mouths...and I completely apologize.

The other happy bit of knowledge, as they so calmly discussed sizes and contents, was that there is a 3.9 cm or mm (I missed that) cyst of some sort attached to my right ovary, which didn't make me completely happy since I did have Harry (a 7 INCH dermoid cyst) removed from my left ovary nearly 10 years ago. But the technician said with a very cavalier attitude that it was probably nothing.

And then the heavens opened and the rain poured down.

Another typical summer day in Toronto.

I have to admit, I've been having difficulties getting motivated to write on my blog. I don't know if it's because it is summer, (well technically summer, after all it is July - July pretending to be early May) and that my brain is shutting down for a long vacation. I finished my digital prepress course with as much as enthusiasm as I generally muster for a trip to the dentist. Even my guitar lessons with Luis are not generating the joy they used to, but that could because he keeps BLOWING ME OFF. Do I not ply him with coffee on Sunday mornings or beer if it's an afternoon/evening lesson? Jesus.

A portrait of my backyard during what has become a typical summer day, minus the smell of garbage. My favourite activity - pulling out the lanterns and the cushions for the chairs, only to move them back under the tent 10 minutes later because we were just hit by a downpour. The upside is I haven't had to water the plants or grass once this summer!


So my brain has shut down for a little vacation but I will make more of an effort to ramble, I mean write, about interesting little things going on in my life.

Like I just got off the phone only one minute ago with a nurse, a perfect stranger who's name I could not make out, from Princess Margaret telling her that yes, my period did start last night. Yes, I am currently menstruating. How often do you get that opportunity? If you're Joe, NEVER! That's the wonderful thing about being a girl.

So why would anyone want to know such a thing?

PMH wants me to participate in a study titled: Fertility in Female Cancer Survivors - Novel Assessment of Ovarian Reserve. Pretty exciting stuff - though I'm sure I shouldn't be included and tried to convince them of that. I mean yes I have had breast cancer, but managed to avoid radiation and chemo with a mastectomy. But I have a feeling they are desperate for volunteers so I will be used as someone to compare others to. And all it involves is getting up earlier than usual, having a blood test and an ultrasound, all before having my first cup of coffee and settling back at the office. I do enjoy participating in studies, it has the effect of creating a purpose for my having had cancer, where otherwise I would sit around, twiddling my thumbs, trying to figure out how it all happened. And maybe they made a mistake. Maybe it was just an infection after all and what I really needed was a strong antibiotic. So I offer up my time and/or pieces of myself whenever asked just in case it helps someone else.

Enough of this period/cancer/study ramble.

Paul has continued working on the front porch, designing and creating these beautiful side panels with long skinny planks of cedar. He's still working on them but here is a picture of Paul cutting wood with his new table to the din of a thunderstorm.

Progress has been made on the porch, I threw a mat down. Looks quite lovely. Now looking for a couple of comfy chairs to join the mat so that I can begin enjoying the great front of the house that no longer smells of cat urine. At least until the next stage of work begins - perhaps this weekend?

I had the most wonderful weekend!

Paul took the boys away camping, from Saturday morning until Sunday afternoon and I was alone. ALONE! The house was so quiet it was hard to actually leave it. Though after enjoying hot coffee and a newspaper read without interruption I headed downtown to enjoy the annual art show at Nathan Phillips Square(http://www.torontooutdoorart.org/). The evening was spent having dinner with a girlfriend and a martini while enjoying the late night element of Salsa on St. Clair. Sunday I slept in until nearly 10am, waking only because Arthur the Cat was standing on my bladder. Finally I finishing my alone time with a guitar lesson and another martini on Pat's front porch.

Then the cell phone rang...they were home. Hamish still hasn't recovered.

Has it really been since June 21 that I last wrote?

Is there anybody out there?

So much has happened in this past month: I've been given a clean bill of health by my oncologist, the kids finished school, Toronto's strike has reached day 18 and I'm frustrated at the pile of garbage around my house and that the kids may not have camp certain weeks...and that the parks are used as garbage dumps, that there are no swimming pools, that people are potentially losing their jobs because they no longer have daycare or just don't have jobs this summer because facilities have been closed...I am very bitter in case you didn't pick up on the subtle tone.

And we just returned home from a vacation in Grand Falls, New Brunswick where I had no access to internet, which has left me a bit shaky I have to admit. Couldn't blog, couldn't twitter, couldn't read other people's blogs and tweets, couldn't check email, couldn't read the Toronto-based news. And it rained every day and if the rain didn't keep us in, the out-for-blood black flies did. So I drank wine, watched Harry Potter movie after Harry Potter movie with the kids (we are so ready for the Half Blood Prince!), drank more wine, shopped at Wal-mart and listened to my mother-in-law pine and vent...and then drank wine.

The fascinating thing about the trip to Grand Falls was that the purpose was a family reunion on Paul's mother's side. Charlene is from a family of 15 children and all 15 are still alive! They range in ages from near 50 to early 70s, 10 boys, 5 girls. Coming from a family of 8 kids where 2 have already been lost to accidents and illness (the curse of the Glover girls) I found this wonderful - as in full of wonderment. Some of them are not wonderful, they're a bit crazy. But unlike the last reunion, the false teeth stayed in.

Paul's grandmother, now 90, is also still alive. Though to be truthful, she's their step-grandmother, the original matriarch of the Morin clan died of cancer - which I'm positive was a result of having 15 children (no multiple births) plus miscarriages back to back. Memere Jean is adorable and speaks not a work of English and I speak very little French - though I do try. After trying to manage a small conversation, Jean gave me this kind of crazy look that transcends any language barrier and says loudly "who the hell are you?"

I feel like I need a vacation from my vacation!

Anyway, no update on the porch. Hopefully in a couple of weeks I can post photos of the progress.

No further progress on the porch because it was, you know, Father's Day and my handy man has crashed after getting up at 5am for a 6:15 tee off....and I felt I should be kind because he was responsible for these two rug rats after all:



I think the high point of the weekend was buying a six pack of frozen rat cubs for Ember the Snake and wondering if our cleaner will find them in the basement freezer.

Progress continues on the front porch. Paul has finished boxing in the pillars and has added bases.


Jakob has taken to reading bedtime stories to Ember the Snake. He pulls up his stool, settles down with a good book and then shows her each page after reading. She is completely enchanted and watches intently.

I suppose I had better figure out her diet and pick up a few frozen mouse-icles. Perhaps it's not the pictures she's looking at and instead it's the allure of Jakob's wiggling little fingers.

A round of applause for Ember, the newest addition to our family. The fact that I'm welcoming a corn snake into our family home cheerfully because she's a GIRL and quite happy about it, says very much how there really should be support groups for mothers of only boys.

But she's kind of an ideal pet, though her tank smells like poo, in that she only eats once every 3 weeks (a frozen mouse or rat cub - which are more nutritious and will be Jakob's job to provide) and her cage needs to be cleaned every 3 months (sigh...my job). She's feisty though, I took her out to photograph her with Jakob and she was not enthusiastic about returning to her cage.

I like her, she's growing on me, and she matches Jakob's hair perfectly. Satchel on the other hand has not entered the room once to take a peek.

We are about to have a new addition join our little family and she's a girl! Finally, I am no longer the only female in the house. Her only flaw according to Jakob but it just can't be helped. Other than that, he considers her perfect.

And she is. She eats only once every three weeks, is reasonably anti social in that she enjoys her space and sees no need to have me entertain her on a constant basis and her clean up is minimal. And she's quiet - I type this as Arthur the cat yells at me for no apparent reason other than to let me know he exists and is in the throes of discontentment.

I will post pictures and reveal her nature when she arrives!

We have the beginning of posts!


And another tool joined our family, a biscuit joiner.

While Paul has been working hard on the deck - I tackled the backyard. The postage stamp-size backyard made smaller by the circus tents which hold all of our outdoor stuff until the garage is built.

I fell in love with the Loblaw's gardening centre, good prices and little selection. Perfect combination for me. And fabulously the boxwoods I bought went on sale for $13 each (Toronto - Dupont/Christie and unfortunately the week after I bought the backyard plants) so I went back to pick up 3 more for the front of the house.


The front porch has seen some progress so I need to run out and take a picture. Paul has replaced the pillars and added the front step. Today was spent putting a tool together in the back circus tent - so more progress should happen tomorrow!

There has been great progress on our front porch this past week with Paul working furiously (furious as in working hard and yes there has been some cursing).

Devoted Jakob has been helping and is quite enamoured with the nail gun. I have to walk away during these times, probably because I have seen too many reports on TV and read too many stories in newspapers about men wandering into emergency wards complaining of a headache only to find they have a nail lodged in their brain.

Day 1:


Day 2 with Jakob:


Day 3/4:

It's wine time!

I blogged a while ago about Fuzion Shiraz-Malbec and its incredible combination of taste, value and price and now Fuzion has released a Syrah Rosé. Fabulous for drinking chilled on the back patio on a glorious day surrounded by friends (or alone - let's be honest). It's hard to find with its limited run, I recommend checking the LCBO web site (http://lcbo.com/lcbo-ear/lcbo/product/searchResults.do?ITEM_NAME=122424&ITEM_NUMBER=122424) to see what stores are actually carrying it - which aren't many, and those that do watch cases fly off the shelves as soon as they are stocked.



FUZION Syrah Rose

Tasting Note: Aromas of strawberries, sweet red fruit and blackberries on this minimum colour intensity wine with a slight yellow hue. An unctuous yet delicate palate with a good balance between sugar and acidity makes this rosé an easy sipping wine to be enjoyed by all.

Enjoy With: A perfect complement to light appetizers such as puffed pastry and cheeses. Serves well with all types of white meats.

Dry / Sweet: Dry, rosé wine, sugar content is 1.

Terroir / Region: Located in the province of Mendoza, one of the eight wine capitals of the world, this 100% Shiraz is produced in the mountainous area of central-west Argentina where grapes are hand-picked the first week of March.

Producer: With more than 40 years of winemaking experience, Familia Zuccardi’s growing repertoire of some of the industry’s most affordable wines has made this producer a favourite to serve. The family’s dedication, passion and innovation all come together to make this winery one of the best in Argentina.

Price: $7.45

Availability: Available through LCBO at select stores.

After holding my breath for a week, I can finally let out air. That slight breeze you just felt against your cheek was me and all my relief. I had my ultrasound today at Mt Sinai hospital and there is no cancer. THANK. GOD.

I have made the decision to talk to my oncologist about removing my remaining breast as a preventative against cancer even though I don't think I'm gene positive...but this stress of being tested every 6 months and worrying have they found something? Have they missed something? is wreaking havoc on my brain and life. The specialist today said that MRIs do not work well on me which is the first time I have ever heard that - now having had 3 of them. She said mammograms and ultrasound show more.

I'll have to talk to my oncologist about that.

To celebrate we have opened wine, grilled steak on the bbq and toasted our good health and all our friends who have supported us through this crazy time...again!

Jakob rocking the straight hair courtesy of the hair stylist who cut his hair today.

Jakob loved it and was very concerned about the impact of rain on his newly straightened locks. He was not impressed at all with mother nature. How dare she thwart his fabulous new look? How dare she!

Porch project status: parging done. (By Carlos, a man who speaks little English though has lived in Toronto for 15 years but is very cute and calls Jakob boss. Jakob offers him cookie pieces which he politely declines. Jakob says he seems like a very nice man.) Paul has just left for Rona to pick up a few things and will begin construction tomorrow!




What was interesting in tearing up the rotting porch is finding out that the parging our (evil) contractor was supposed to be responsible for when they rebuilt the foundation at the front of the house, charged at his inflated price plus his inflated 21% fee because it was considered a CHANGE ORDER, was not actually done. They only parged what we were able to see, the very corners.

But I will take a breath, stab a few toothpicks into the voodoo doll and let it go.

Back to the porch, I'm thinking of painting all the trim one colour, para paint P5221-62. I'm trying to find an online chip but for some reason am having a bit of trouble since Para only wants to show me colour pallets that THEY like.

Now because there is nothing more boring than parging photos, I'm also going to post photos of Jakob with Hamish, my $560 cat minus 2 teeth which I took today because Jakob has been home sick having vomited first thing this morning (all over 2 House & Home magazines and my Ikea catalogue...sob). I feel for Hamish, he's often the focus of Jakob's affection and attention and seldom gets the chance to walk.

My incredibly adorable husband has tackled the front porch as my mother's day present.





And also had time to surprise me with the most beautiful arrangement of flowers.


I am so much happier with the porch in this state: a work in progress with limitless potential versus a crack-den-look-alike and I don't miss the artificial turf in the slightest! We have a man coming tomorrow to do some cement work, some parging so that Paul can begin rebuilding the porch this Friday, once the wood arrives.

It has been an emotionally exhausting day. The hospital called to say that something has been found on my MRI and I need to go back next week for an ultrasound. My hope for a year without surgery seems to be fading fast.

I like to pretend that breast cancer isn't part of my life, and most of the time I don't really spend a lot of time thinking about it. Sure the scars from the mastectomy burn brightly but after I put on my t-shirt, admire my now flattened stomach from the reconstruction...poof, it's out of my mind.

Until the dreaded tests. One which is tomorrow...my favourite one: MRI time at Mt. Sinai.

No wonder I'm agitated, it's not just pms after all.

Wish me luck.

Scenes from Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0446029/) are being filmed in our neighbourhood with the park and a few houses being blanketed with fake snow. (Not our crack den obviously, sadly no place in the movie for my little horror.)

Satchel and a few of his friends have been hanging around the movie set on their lunch hour and after school and were able to meet Michael Cera who plays the main character in the film. MC is now Satchel's favourite movie star because frankly Satchel's adoration can be bought for $2. Unless it's me trying to buy him off, then the price goes way up and usually involves a trip to Toys R Us. After the scene was filmed, MC came over to the kids and thanked them for watching quietly and as their reward, took them to where they keep the soft drinks and let them grab one of their choosing.

I asked Satch what the scene was about and he said "I have no idea, but he was dressed kind of weird. Kind of old fashioned."

I said "Old fashion? I thought it was supposed to be the 1980s?"

Satch says "That's why, it's RETRO!"

I'm going to hang on to retro rather than old fashion when defining myself as I stumble into the closet most mornings half asleep, pulling out something to wear that was either purchased in the 80s (very old), around when Satch was born (1996 - kind of old), or when Jakob was born (2001) until now (considered new).

I do believe I have found the house numbers for my crack den house front courtesy of Design Within Reach: http://www.dwr.com/product/accessories/neutra-house-numbers-aluminum.do


With any luck they are in stock or at least will not take FOREVER to ship from the States...like my book shelves.

I have determined my next personal project - outside of finding the perfect console table to hold my tv that will go with my fabulous new carpet.

I am going to fix the front of my house so that it doesn't look like a crack den.

Here is how that decision came about:

I was reading tweets and followed a link to Breakfast Television's blog and noticed a BT/Home Depot contest to fix the front of your house, improve curb appeal. Just send a note why your house deserves the make-over and a picture.

This is what I wrote (well first draft anyway, minor tweeks made to the original):

The front of our house is so hideous that adults walking by weep and children run in fear...and animals defecate because the lack of grass gives only the impression of our front yard being one very large litter box. The green and cream paint (though I suppose considered grand in the 80s when it was last done) has peeled and hangs in strips, the astroturf carpeting does nothing to hide the disintegrating floorboards, and the lone hanging lightbulb emphasizes the despair that is our family home. Flowers no longer bloom, birds do not sing, and the garbage bins stand as sentinels at the front allowing in only skunks who burrow under the porch and then spray.

I am amazed that the neighbours haven't risen up against us, for we are the most pitiful house on the street and desperate for a curb appeal makeover.

And here is the picture:


I seriously did not realize just how bad the front is until I went outside to deliberately take a picture of the old horror. I think after so many years of living here I would deliberately stare down at the sidewalk and hold my breath to protect myself from the stench of catspray and rush quickly into the house. Sidestepping the holes in the porch boards.

Now to start sourcing house numbers, light fixtures and paint colours, and also plants and pots for the front.

And to build up my courage and remove the astroturf (after taking a couple gravol) and see exactly what is living under my porch.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

It is so beautiful today! So why am I blogging?

Because I can't stop staring at my new rug!

The downside to my beautiful new rug is that I am now stressed at work thinking that at any moment one of my evil cats will be yacking up a football-size fur ball, but mostly preoccupied with how horrible my curtains look and how tired the furniture is (but I can't buy new furniture yet, the kids won't let me have nice furniture...yet), and that finding a console table for our tv has been upgraded to urgent!

But other than those tiny matters, if I just focus on my rug and nothing else, I am blissfully happy.

Now to do something incredibly indulgent - I am going to open a corona and take my guitar and practice on the back steps. My even pop a slice of lime into the bottle.

And not-so-silently curse my guitar instructor who blew off my lesson on Sunday. How am I ever going to join a band by the age of 50 if he's not here helping me reach that goal? Good thing I have quite a few years ahead of me.

I love craigslist. I finally made the decision to buy the Quinn rug from Pottery Barn (http://www.potterybarn.com/products/p11587/index.cfm?pkey=cwool-rugs) that I have been obsessing about for months and on a whim typed the name into craigslist only to find a nearly brand new one in the exact colour and size being offered up. And it was posted on my birthday which meant that it truly was destined to be mine!

And it is now in my living room.

Jakob says it looks like a million marshmallows.



New rules now apply to the living room: No eating or drinking ANYTHING except on that little wooden strip of flooring. The end.

Honestly, if the makers of the Twilight movie series ever needed a little boy vampire, Jakob would be perfect. Especially after he drinks a cream soda turning his lips bright red.

Jakob is now on day 5 of his antibiotics and doing so much better. The rabid-moose bellow has not been heard in days - lucky for him...

Just when you really need a TV in your life, it has to up and die.

I took Jakob to the doctor today and as she hovered over him, writing a prescription, taking swabs, feeling his glands, telling me this little guy needs a lot of TLC over the next couple of days because he has a bad case of STREP...I could only feel really bad that I have been telling him (and I would not describe the tone as maternal) to BE QUIET for the past 24 hours. And I was being the nice parent.

Unfortunately for me I really need sleep. For example, if I'm forced to go since, say, Thursday night without a good night sleep, by today I'm a broken mess capable only of eating Girl Guide cookies, hoping for a sugar rush, washed down with coffee.

And Jakob is not easy when he's feeling unwell. We went to Shoppers to fill his prescription and he started bellowing like a moose in heat. I had to tell him to knock it off, he's going to scare the old people picking up their prescriptions - maybe give them a heart attack. At least the bellowing kept the pan handlers who hang out front of the store from harassing us for spare change - which always makes me think of Ellen Degeneres - because you could tell from the expression on their weathered faces that they didn't have a clue what Jakob was capable of or if he was perhaps contagious.

Jakob doesn't stop making noises, and if it's 3:30 in the morning and you're begging him to be quiet because you all you really want to do is sleep and be warned, you're not a good parent in the morning if you go one more night without, he'll just get louder and come up with new noises to push you over the edge.

It's almost like he has tourettes. He's currently sitting quietly on the couch watching the TV that's not broken and every once in a while, just to let me know he's still suffering (though not battling death like he thought this morning and when I thought it was just a head cold - because he has had a diagnosis), he lets out the moose call, now sounding perhaps a bit more rabid than in heat.

Maybe he'll keep the skunks away - give purpose to our suffering. That wouldn't be so bad would it?

Must go to bed after a very exhausting birthday weekend made even more INSANE by Jakob getting incredibly sick and miserable.

But first I promised to mention a fabulous contest by a talented Ottawa graphic designer and artist. Check out http://www.mchenwears.com to win an original t-shirt.

Now...bed. 4 hours of broken sleep is not enough to keep me going.

One day to "B" day.

To make today less painful, bought strawberry infused wine and cupcakes and plied 10 women (and one lone male consultant) at work. No one sang. Except for me, in my head, and that was Birthday by the Beatles. I can always rock out alone.

Two days until my birthday and I'm really trying hard to not think about it - but it could explain why I am so incredibly cranky (mother issues - meaning issues with my mother not my being a mother..but that could also be true). That and finding out my guitar instructor was born in 1984. 1.9.8.4.

I mean come on - I could be his mother! A really young hip mother, but his mother.

My life is feeling like one big Orwellian nightmare.

My 12 year old went to see a movie yesterday with his 12 year old friends, driven by one of their parents. Life is becoming tricky with 12 year olds because it seems the days of knowing what they are up to and what they are thinking are fast becoming history.

For example the movie. I said sure go with your friends, it's your last day of the long weekend plus I THOUGHT they were going to see Fast and Furious...a stupid movie made to appeal to the changing brains of 12 year old boys. But no, they went and saw Observe and Report, a movie that passes date rape off as a sex scene. And how did they even get in to see it? It's rated 18A, Satchel's friend is barely taller than Jakob, and they paid child admission prices!

Now I need to talk to Satchel about the film and its mistreatment of social issues and women, I would like to call the theatre to find out how they determine whether children are old enough to see inappropriate movies and, this will horrify Satchel and his friends, I'm going to email the parents of the other kids to let them know what kind of movie their kids saw in case they would like to talk to them about the content.

What a weekend - no wonder I had an anxiety attack yesterday which Jakob bore most of the brunt of. My headcold was severe on Friday, we attended a funeral on Saturday (another post will have to detail how much fun it was for me to take family out for a drink after Uncle Sam's funeral only to have one half on one side of me not talking to the other half on the other side of me, and my Mom not talking at all - but at least she knew who I was!), fabulous friends came for dinner Saturday night, Sunday was all about bunnies and chocolate and champagne and orange juice.

Thank God Pat came over yesterday afternoon and made me laugh so hard I nearly spewed white wine spritzer through my nose, a feat only made possible in the past by Bobbles. I may have to marry her.

I am now experimenting with Twitter and this is what I love: that Yoko Ono is following my tweets!

Hi, Meg Glover (meg_glover).

Yoko Ono (yokoono) is now following your updates on Twitter.

Check out Yoko Ono's profile here:
http://twitter.com/yokoono


And she sent me an email:

Thanks for following! love, yoko IMAGINE PEACE: Think PEACE, Act PEACE, Spread PEACE www.IMAGINEPEACE.com

Yoko Ono / yokoono

I know I shouldn't get overly excited, she must follow everyone who logs on to follow her tweets and send them this email form letter. But OH.MY.GOD! Yoko Ono!

What is disconcerting is the random mix of total strangers who are also following my tweets. I don't understand why - most of the posts have been about me sobbing into my keyboard over the snow and freezing cold temperatures. It must be my oh-so-eloquent way of describing my despair in 140 characters or less.

I watched Oprah again today. That's two days running, I'm feeling like a bit of a junkie.

But the episode was really interesting. They discussed the four blue zones (the mountainous Barbagia region of Sardinia, an island off the coast of Italy; the Japanese island of Okinawa; a community of Seventh-day Adventists in Loma Linda, Calif., about 60 miles east of Los Angeles; and the Nicoya Peninsula of Costa Rica, in Central America)in the world where people live healthier and longer than anywhere else. Dr Oz, Oprah and some well preserved man with an artificial tan and blindingly white teeth discussed the belief system of each area for living longer.

I am happy to report that drinking wine was featured prominently - up to two glasses per day. I'm having my second now.

Other factors include:

Exercise.

Eating well - many adopting a vegan or organic diet.

Having a sense of purpose - this was a priority with all four areas.

Laughing with your friends. Surround yourself with peers so that you have a support system in place. Though one 94 year old surgeon suggested that it was better to surround yourself with younger people because they were the ones who stimulated you (he meant mentally for you naughty readers).

To read more: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap_travel/20080519/ap_tr_ge/travel_by_the_book_blue_zones

or visit Oprah:
http://www.oprah.com/dated/oprahshow/oprahshow_20081009_bluezones

OH MY GOD, WHEN IS THIS HEAD COLD GOING TO GO AWAY? And I would like to say the same for the freezing cold temperatures, the smattering of snow on the ground, the ice rain...

It's all driving me insane and makes me want to board a plane quickly and head back to the Caymans.

Oprah's on television - looking mighty fierce with her straightened hair - talking to mothers. They are currently discussing what they don't like about motherhood which inspired me to compile a small list of my least favourite things about motherhood.

Starting with number 1: TWELVE YEARS OF BROKEN SLEEP. That's right: TWELVE YEARS!

2: poo. Changing diapers, wiping bottoms, smelling it in the house, finding it hanging out in the toilet because someone forgot to flush. Or maybe they did flush but they've plugged the toilet and it's now all over the floor. And the underwear. If I never see a brown stain on underwear again I will die a very happy woman.

3: personal time...GONE. Oh to sit quietly and read a book. Or have a bath without company who then complains about the bubbles, he doesn't like them, and can I please get out! And popular television programming...what is that? Isn't Friend's still on?

4: Yelling. The yelling and the wrestling really ties my stomach up in knots. The thumping I hear coming from the room above me, the inevitable crying...drives me insane! I can imagine a life with little girls would be all sweetness and quiet, tea parties and tying up Barbie with little scarves bondage style, hanging her from tv tables. Oh wait, that was my childhood.

5: MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY

6: The constant mess of my house.

7: Handing my bottle or glass of water to the kids because they are thirsty and getting back something that looks more like swamp water with floaty bits. I have now learned to take a quick big gulp before handing it over so that I can say "No, no...you keep it. You'll be thirsty again soon." coming across quite saintly and altruistic but really? NO WAY would I take another swig of that mess.

Feel free to add a few of your own!

I'm sitting in my kitchen, head in hand, watching the rain (and yes, typing on my computer) and listening to all the children of various shapes and sizes make noise upstairs.

I'm STILL sick. I broke free from work an hour early to race home hoping for a quick nap but instead found all the children starving and was forced to make grilled cheese sandwich after grilled cheese sandwich. And I'm expecting more people because my biggest personal flaw is an inability to say NO. Unless it has to do with with money - if you need money well don't come to me, because I ain't got any. But I will remember you if I win the lottery. Promise.

This is how I know I'm not well, because as Paul gave up on Xbox, I can't play my guitar. The poor darling is sitting quietly in the corner feeling utterly rejected and starting to gather dust. As useful as a goldfish.

And I'm eating suspicious cake which I have loaded with whip cream. Totally unlike me.

I'm trying to type this with my forehead pressed against the keyboard.

My little family is falling apart. I started feeling a sore throat last night and today I still have the sore throat but it has been joined by a headache and stomach ache...and I really just want to go to bed and sleep.

Jakob isn't feeling well either - but he's very much like the boy who cried wolf, or I should say the boy who cried I HATE SCHOOL, WHY DO I HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL EVERY DAY! I WANT TO SUE THE PEOPLE WHO INVENTED HOMEWORK! I NEED A DAY OFF!!! and therefore tends not to believed and is shuffled off to school everyday. Except that because I know how retched I feel, I'm pretty positive he's not well too.

But LUCY is at the house cleaning and there are few things I hate more than having other people in my house when I just want to sleep and am paying them to clean but they lead an isolating life and really just want to chat. Plus she's a little racist and inevitably our conversations end with her telling me to make sure my kids go to an all white catholic school.

And I have a massage booked this afternoon. No way am I missing out on an appointment with Thumbs of Steel Shirley.

Anyway, back to my falling apart family. Jakob managed to develop a massive blister on his toe which has now popped and looks hideous. He's absolutely horrified by it and wants it covered with 2 bandages at all times AND bandage tape. So that after 10 minutes he can pry off the bandage to see if it's still as horrific as it was 10 minutes ago. We're going through a lot of bandages right now so I picked up 140 yesterday which should last me until Thursday night. He also has impetigo on his shoulder and arms and that was pretty horrifying too. I always try to downplay whatever the kids are experiencing so they don't freak out, so with Jakob I would say that the rash really isn't so bad. We're going to the doctor to get special cream and it will be healed in no time. You're fine, it's fine...here have some ice cream. Then Satchel will walk by and see the spots and blurt out OH MY GOD, I DIDN'T REALIZE HOW BAD JAKOB WAS! THAT'S DISGUSTING! JESUS! IS HE GOING TO BE OKAY?

Shut up Satchel.

We have the cream, spots are healing, Jakob will be fine.

Satchel is now obsessing about the big scab on Jakob's knee and how he's pretty sure it's gangrene.

Shut up Satchel.

Satchel has molluscum contagiosum which is a viral infection predominately on his chest that looks worse than it is (like really bad acne) but for a 12 year old boy who takes swim at school, it's pretty devastating. We're off to a dermatologist next week but unfortunately it's something that usually just goes away on it's own..after many many months.

Paul was home sick yesterday and spent the day napping and watching movies. He was pretty close to death because found that even though he tried to play some violent game on the xbox 360, he just wasn't up to it and went back to bed.

He's much better today, in fact last night was greatly improved because his ability to game came right back. Whew.

Part of our Cayman experience was hanging with the dolphins. Dolphins fed caviar on a golden spoon...or at least they should be considering how much they charged us to spend not quite 30 minutes in the water.

But I had to buy the video - the look on Satchel's face when he was forced to kiss the dolphin made it worth every single penny.

Pucker up baby.





Our flight was late getting home so I'm operating on very little sleep today...and trying to adjust to the non 30* weather. Brutal. I keep thinking I should be able to throw on my bathing suit and grab the snorkeling gear but instead I'm grabbing the parka and an umbrella.

Can't wait to include more pictures and stories - but that will have to be tomorrow.

Cayman Islands equals:

Snorkeling every day

Living in a bikini (not as horrifying to others as I feared)

Swimming with dolphins

Swimming with stingrays

Para sailing

Drinking cold frothy concoctions

Wondering how I will figure out dressing warmly when we fly back on Tuesday.

One little vignette to post before signing off to return to drinking cold drinks in 30* weather:

Jakob snorkeling with a life jack singing Jingle Bells as he looks at all the species of fish and coral.

We are heading out tomorrow morning (4:00 am - GOOD GOD what was I thinking?!) for the Cayman Islands and as usual I have a stress knot in my stomach the size of a football. I hate packing. HATE HATE HATE it! But once I'm on the airplane, I will be relaxed in the knowledge that it doesn't matter what I've forgotten, it's too late.

I've been drinking white wine spritzers to help my through the process and I did have a pedicure this afternoon - my first in 2 years. I had a small Asian woman who spoke no English work on my sad little toes and I almost broke down in hysterics when she massaged my feet by punching them hard with the back of her hand, only to raise her head and smile at me occasionally during the assault.

Crazy...but I tipped her well.

I had better rush off to bed since I need to be up in 5 hours. Hopefully I will dazzle you with my photos on my return.

See you in a week!

It's recessionary wine time!

I couldn't bring myself to include this with my earlier post - for very obvious and orange reasons.

A great white wine recommended by a friend to serve at Paul's party...and again for just under $10!

Argento 2008 Pinot Grigio $9.85 (Argentina)

Aromas of pure pear, which are classic for pinot grigio, plus ripe bin apple, lime and a spicy overlay. On the palate, mellow lime, kiwi fruit and persistent pear. The finish shows uplifting citrus peel. Very fresh, fruity and friendly.

Rating: 88 out of 100

Nothing makes a girl feel all pretty like a freshly dyed mop of hair (Perfect 10, medium ash brown also known as Swift Chocolate). Swift? Because that's how most people (like my mother) eat chocolate? Swiftly.

I wonder who comes up with these names because frankly I think I would quite enjoy that job.

And then looking at my two big orange jugs which are to hold 48 hours of piss just kind of takes that feeling away. Especially the one with acid in it. Which, as the technician told me, "You don't pee directly into because..."

"It might splash up and BURN ME?!"

"Yes."

I would kind of like to take them to work with me, swinging them casually while on the subway. Leaving them in the office fridge for anyone to investigate and possibly sample.

At least they are a pretty colour.

Sometimes I'm amazed I don't get kicked off of blogspot for lack of use.

Oh well.

I believe a quick catch up is in order before I start swilling my midol down with a glass of wine.

Paul's party was fabulous! We had 25 people over drinking French Martinis and singing karaoke songs until 2 in the morning. Scotch was then consumed by Paul and a few other sordid characters until 3am when the party finally shut itself down. I woke up the next morning pondering a sore throat, was I finally getting the cold I've been fighting for the past week or is from totally nailing Material Girl by Madonna!

After being blown off again and again by now the subcontractor, the painter finally showed up and did some half ass repair work. But evil contractor is not responding to any of our calls or emails requesting a timeline since we THOUGHT this would take 2 days to finish up and we are now into the 2nd week with no end in sight. And now Paul would like to add CRAP JOB BY PAINTER to the agenda when evil contractor finally does call.

Time to give Jakob a bath, he smells bad as all 7 year old boys do.